Sometimes it's funny how a seemingly uncorrelated set of circumstances can conspire to dent ones resolve.  And by funny I mean odd, strange, or friggin screwy...

Sam and I were supposed to go sailing on Saturday.  There was a chance that Maddie and Mandi might go but Maddie's nap schedule got in the way.  Sam and I headed down on what appeared to be a perfect sailing day!  It was somewhat cloudy but the when we got downtown, the wind was kickin about 10kts from the west, not too hot or too cold.  When we got to our Sailing Club I asked for a 22' Capri for four hours and was promptly told "Sorry Bro, they're all gone.  I can get you on a 27' or you can try over at Coronado."  Coronado only had 16' and 35'.  I guess no sailing this day, I'm not certified to sail anything larger that 25'.  Yet.  What's worse is that when I sail out of Sea Port Village I park at work and walk a mile over to the marina.  It was a long quiet walk back to the car with Sam.

Then this morning I dropped Sam at school and realized I forgot my work badge.  Headed home for that.  On the way to work, again, I tried to hit the ATM but for some reason all the ATM's were "Out of Order", convenient...  Since I hadn't had breakfast yet I decided to walk over to a local mexican place and get a breakfast burrito, they are so yummy!  For some reason on this day the restaurant wasn't opening till 10am.  I had a conference call with MLB at 10 so that nixed breakfast.

If you know me you know I can get cranky if I miss a feeding.  I wonder how that will play out on a boat...  hmmm...

When I finally went for my lunch walk I was pretty hungry but I wanted to walk while the weather allowed it.  Sometimes I don't feel like walking past the Marina because it feels like a carrot being dangled out in front of me.  Today I went over there anyway.  It's good to clear one's head with some fresh air!  I felt so much better afterwards. I got to daydreaming which is what I usually do when I walk or run or swim.  When I daydream near the ocean well, i'll be daydreaming about crossing that ocean.  It's just my nature.

By the time I'd turned around and headed back I could feel the desire to go over the horizon so bad I could taste it.  Starting to get back to my old self...  I remembered a quote of Abraham Lincoln I read recently:  "...In the end it's not the years in your life that count.  It's the life in your years."  I don't know if I'll ever hear it stated better than that.

Missing a day of sailing, or one meal, or being inconvenienced by ATM failures all really are inconsequential.  A friend of mine from New York described walking in the city there like this:  We just keep moving.  If the light is red, or traffic blocks you, in one direction you turn the corner and go in another direction.  The point is to always keep moving in the direction of your goal.  Seems like that could be a pervasive concept in life.

Yesterday afternoon Maddie, Mandi, and I went down to West Marine to try to find a better fitting PFD for Madison.  Since Mandi agreed to go do this I felt in my mind that it was a tiny moment of validation for my dream.  There is, afterall, only one reason to find a well fitting PFD for Madison.  Then while there I happened by the sailing shoes and pointed out a few to Mandi.  Mandi, like me, is something of a shoe-aholic.  She smilingly tried on a couple pair and then made a comment like: well, if we're really going to do this thing some day then I guess I'll eventually need to get some sailing shoes.  She didn't get any this time but again, a tiny moment of validation...

My dream may never fully come to pass but to paraphrase Abe and my New York buddy - Keep your eye on the prize and fill your years with life.

That's the plan I've got for now.
Seaman Ray